All the girls are going out for the night, and the Cunt has brought along Fugly Boy.  F.B. hangs around all night, creeping out the girls, scaring away potential hotties, and generally hovering.  Cunt has no intention of sleeping with F.B., he is just someone who makes her look more desirable, buys her free drinks, and ensures that no one will approach any of her more attractive, and available friends.

Editors Note: Thanks to Becca for the contribution!

Now playing: Kanye West – Drunk And Hot Girls (Ft. Mos Def)
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A cunt will often break confidences when she is trying to befriend you.  It’s a natural instinct to want to reveal knowledge and break down the layers of trust when getting to know someone.  Of course, when that secret gets out, and all the fingers point to the cunt, she is going to be furious only at you, and accept no responsibility at all for the situation.

Now playing: Howie Day – Secret
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A cunt is a cunt because she is irrational, and often has nothing more than a wild hair up her ass as cause for being a complete cunt.  If you catch her in this mood, she is probably bored, restless, and looking to stir up trouble.  She will make you miserable and fuck up your day just because she can.  You are left in the aftermath, waiting for the dust to settle, and she is riding off into the sunset looking for someone else’s day to meddle with.

Now playing: Fiona Apple – Criminal
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When a cunt has her eyes on a prize, no one else is allowed to look at him.  She owns him.  Her female “friends” are warned off, and despite the fact that Prize may have no interest in her, he is now off limits for ever.  And fear her wrath if you disobey her claim!  Your life will be living hell, and you won’t have a chance for redemption.  This claim never ends, and it intensifies if there is an actual relationship between Prize and Cunt.  If the relationship actually comes to fruition, and then ends, fear for any female that comes after the Cunt, because she is doomed for messing with that man.

Now playing: Sondre Lerche – Is It Okay To Call You Mine?
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There is the expectation, on the rare occasions that a cunt actually has a Female Friend, that that friend will follow her around, and do as she says.  F.F. will have to hate who Cunt hates, with no questions or exceptions.  Chances are, the hatee probably doesn’t deserve this teaming up mentality.  F.F. doesn’t have a choice though…she has to obey the Cunt or bear her wrath.
Now playing: Weezer – You’re My Best Friend
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In the merry game of musical chairs that a party entails, someone is invariably left standing, because there is just never enough seating!  The Cunt can’t possibly be this person.  If, by some freak chance, she is such a Chairless Individual, she can employ this Trick.  By huffing, puffing, hemming, hawing, and giving the classic eye roll, some Poor Sap will offer her his chair.  That is now C.I.’s chair, for the rest of the night, and no soul will dare cross her, because of her Cunty reputation.  Sorry Sap, you are now the C.I.!

Editors Note:  Thanks to Whitney for the contribution!

Now playing: Rilo Kiley – Under the Blacklight
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We all hate the social obligations that come with advancing our careers/schooling/whoring etc.  When there is a particularly annoying, tedious, or awkward event, it sometimes makes things better to bring along a friend.  As the rest of the world combs through their social rolodex trying to find the wittiest, funniest friend to engage them through this night, the Cunt takes a different tactic.  The Cunt wants only to impress everyone in the room.  The friend she chooses will be less attractive, less witty, and overall a more boring individual, so that the Cunt will look stunning in all regards by comparison.  However, the Cunt can’t bring someone scary or hideous, because they will just end up scaring away anyone who might want to talk to her.  The Trick is in the moderation, and the level of attractiveness/interesting-ness her companion possesses.

Editors Note: Thanks to Whitney for the contribution!

Now playing: Keane – We Might As Well be Strangers
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Cunts are competitive creatures. They are catty, manipulative, and fierce creatures. They have a natural inclination to pit themselves against others, particularly when they feel that the “chips are down” and that they aren’t in the position of dominance or control. This is where the scorecard comes into play. A running tally of accomplishments and winnings. For instance: If a C is pursuing a male, and he indicates “missing” her, or “liking” her in any respect, ZING! Score 1 for the Cunt! Another example: If a C walks into a party, and there is a prettier girl there, but she falls and spills her drink all over her frock ZING! Another point. The best part though, in this imaginary scoring system, is that the C never ever loses a point. She can only gain, and everyone else in the universe can never participate in her scoring system. As C’s score increases – and consequent feeling of control and self esteem increases – the scorecard becomes less and less necessary. ZING!

Editors Note:  Thanks to JJ for the contribution!

Now playing: Amy Winehouse – Love Is A Losing Game
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Occasionally, when dating, a girl is simply not interested in a boy.  This is understandable, and should be a mutual relief for both parties when the charade ends.  This is not true for a Cunt, however.  She knows that this boy, particularly if he is interested in her, but even if he isn’t, serves a purpose.  He is more validation, more attention, someone to use as leverage.  While Dating Cunt figures out exactly what Dating Dude’s role in her life is, she employs the “phase out”.  She meets with him initially.  She is clever, witty, charming.  She speaks only of herself, and only superficially.  She has no interest in his life, aside from ensuring that he isn’t a psycho.  She might meet with him one or two more times, as a “hook”.  Then, through texts and phone calls, she strings him along, keeping only as much contact as necessary to keep track of him.  If he really won’t serve a purpose, she can easily quit these contacts.  If he needs to work as jealousy, or a buffer, he is only a phone call away.  The D.C. has masterfully kept her options open, and D.D. is a pawn in her game.
Now playing: The All American Rejects – It Ends Tonight
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